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Dude. WTF (Part 2)

If you missed part 1 click here: Part one

I figured it was high time for another WTF post. These are a few of the things that have caused me to literally say to myself “dude, what the f*&k?”

 

1. Inappropriate use of UGG Boots

Now, I love my UGG boots. They are comfortable and warm, and especially useful in our cold New England winters. Lately I have seen UGGs being the main focal point for some ugly outfits. Specifically wearing UGG boots with shorts:

Um, this not only looks sloppy but all around ugly. Uggs are meant to keep you and feet warm. Not to be thrown on in the middle of summer just because you are lazy and couldn’t find your flip flops. I also have seen Uggs with oversized, worn-out sweatpants. Ok, this just makes you look like a homeless person. Uggs should NOT be paired with: shorts, sweatpants/tracksuits, and formal wear.

2.  Winter Fashion: Fur

What is up with all the faux fur? Especially the fur boots. I can 100% say that these boots that are taking over the fall/winter fashion trends are the ugliest things I have ever seen. They kind of remind me of something I would use to clean my floors.

3. Pointless Facebook Groups

Some of the Facebook groups and pages that have been popping up are just straight stupid. Like the Facebook page titled: Napkins. Really, who deemed it necessary to make a facebook page about napkins? Or how about the group about people who hate when one of their hoodie strings is longer than the other? The fact that someone had the time in their day to create this group makes me question the human race as a whole.

Of course, that is only the tip of the iceberg on the stupidity on Facebook…

– A


Q. Anything causing you to have your own ‘Dude, WTF’ moment?

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If you were to ask any one person if they are a good driver; they probably wouldn’t hesitate before answering yes. The truth of the matter is that the majority of people that are on the road (legally and illegally) absolutely suck at driving…

Top Annoying Things Bad Drivers Do:

1. The Cell Phone Driver

Now, I am not going to sit here and say that I have never talked on my cell phone while driving because that would be a lie. However, I have only done it when I actually needed to take the phone call, and then pulled over to continue my conversation. Those are the people I am talking about anyway. I am talking about the people that are constantly talking on their cell phones while driving. You will be next to them at a red light while they are talking away – then witness them hang up and make another phone call. Yea, those people. Of course, what kind of list would this be if I didn’t give a shout out to the text-messaging drivers. The ones that are so into texting that they swerve in and out of lanes, sit at green lights, and so forth. Love them.

2. The ‘Im too good’ Driver:

These drivers are real gems. They are the ones that never use a turn signal, drive way too fast, and swerve in and out of lanes on the highway. They obviously think they are too good to follow the rules that everybody has to follow.*also under this annoyance is the genius that leaves their blinker on foreverseems people can’t see that light blinking on their dashboard directly in front their face.

3. Slow in the Fast Lane Driver:

Wouldn’t the road be a wonderful place if we all worked together? Well, it’s not and we don’t. One of the most annoying things a driver can do is stay in the far left lane.. while going obnoxiously slow. Instead of passing the intended car, this driver will stay in the far left lane and just cause a major slow-up. Thanks, buddy.

4. The Parking Guru

We have all been there… searching for a parking spot at the mall or the grocery store and think we see one – that is until we get a closer look and realize the nice driver of the pretty little car felt it necessary to take up two parking spots. Whether the person’s bad parking job was intentional or not, this person still gets the jackass award.

5. The Nose Picker

Let me be perfectly clear about this: I have nothing against someone picking their nose… just as long as I DON’T HAVE TO SEE IT. There is seriously nothing more disgusting than pulling up to a fellow driver and notice that he is mid-mining operation and knuckle-deep in his own nose. It is gross. And there is nothing more annoying…

I would like to consider myself a well-traveled person. I have been on a lot of planes and on quite a few holidays. Yet there is always that gem that feels it necessary to make the plane absolutely suck-ass for everyone else. These are the people that make traveling on a plane – well – annoying:


1. The Smelly Food Person

I am a snacker. There is probably never a time where I don’t have a portable snack on my person, and a plane ride is no different. Whether it be chips, a protein bar, or even candy — I get bored on long flights and eating helps my boredom. What can I say?

On one flight I was on, the woman sitting in the aisle seat in our row was also hungry. Except she didn’t pull out a little snack — she pulled out the most offensive smelling enchilada wraps. I mean these things literally filled up the plane with the strongest odor of food I have even smelled.. even with a bit of curry for good measure.

In my opinion, I just don’t find this necessary. I feel like on a plane, where you are in a small compartment with many other people, you should take into consideration that maybe not everyone on the plane wants to smell your food. Next time, whip out a bag of potato chips — and not Doritos.

2. The ‘rush to exit the plane while pushing everyone else out of the way’ person:

I know, we have all just sat in a very uncomfortable seat for an extended period of time and are anxious to get the eff off the plane. However, I think it is plane etiquette that the plane empty out from front to back. Don’t be in such a rush that you block me in my aisle so I can’t get to my carry-on and get off the plane too. It really will only take a few more moments, and I don’t think you will die waiting just one more minute.

3. The seat hogger

This one really drives me crazy. It is almost like people think because I don’t take every inch of my seat, they can just help themselves to my seat as well. I am a firm believer in personal space, and I don’t like it when the person next to me has both arms on the armrest; practically sitting on my lap. We each have our own seat for a reason…

4. The Seat Kicker:

It seems that no matter where I go, what airline I fly, I always, always get the seat kicker. On both flights to and from Mexico on our last trip, I had the pleasure of a seat kicker. It was like every 4 minutes I would get a nice kick to the back of my seat. Of course, I would love to say that it was a child, and said child didn’t know better. But nope, it was two middle-aged men BOTH times. I don’t get it, do you not feel your foot ramming the seat in front of you?

and lastly,

5. The Crying Child

This one is tricky. I understand small babies are babies and all they do is eat, shit, and cry but when your in enclosed space for a lenghty amount time, a crying baby can really drive me to crazy. Especially when I can hear the cries  from over my headphones, that are blasting so loud in my ears I leave the plane with an earache. However, I am not a parent and therefore know diddly squat about children… but a child crying for 4 hours non-stop? Is that normal?? Whatever it is, it does serve me a personal purpose: birth control.

 

-Amy

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a sarcastic person. I have even been granted the title of a ‘sarcasshole‘ from time to time.

Sarcasm is not telling someone they suck (that would be honesty). Having a comeback for everything said to you is also not sarcasm. For those who are new to earth would like a dose of wiki,

Sarcasm is defined as, “A cutting, often ironic, remark intended to wound. It is a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.” 

See, right off the bat this definition bothers me. Why? Because it makes anyone who uses sarcasm out to be complete bitch (or jerk) and that really just is not the case (at least with me)  First off, sarcasm has to be used correctly. Secondly, I use sarcasm unknowingly sometimes. If it wasn’t for the BF (who has so nicely pointed it out here and there), I wouldn’t even know I was so freaking sarcastic to begin with. It was one of these “instances” of sarcasm that got me thinking… Is sarcasm a good or bad thing? My answer: Both. To back up my claim, I wanted to write a list of some of the pro’s and con’s of sarcasm. Just to make sure I am not always being a shithead

 

*Disclaimer: this is only my personal on  my own use of sarcasm – There is a good chance I have no idea what I am talking about*

Pros of Using Sarcasm Correctly:

  • Can be ‘witty, intelligent, and cool’
  • It can be humorous
  • You have to actually have half a brain to use sarcasm
  • You have to be able to think and react quickly
  • If you are surrounded by smart people, people will get your jokes
  • When turned inwardly, sarcasm can make another feel better about being a tool
  • Sarcasm keeps me sane

Cons of Sarcasm (or sarcasm used incorrectly):

  • Can be used to make fun of a person and hurt his or her feelings
  • Can make someone the butt of a joke (sometimes unknowingly)
  • Sarcasm can make a situation worse
  • If you are surrounded by idiots, no one will get your jokes
  • It can be too harsh
  • Can get you in trouble
  • If used wrong can be unwitty, unintelligent, and lame.

– – – – –

-Amy the Sarcasshole

Q. What is your opinion on sarcasm? Any pros or cons you would like to add to the list?

Dude. WTF

Doesn’t it always seem like it is the ‘little’ things in life that totally urk you – not a day ruiner but more like a WTF moment maker…   I know it is like that for me, so I figured I would focus on some of the things that have left me a bit perplexed as of late:

 

1) INTERNET/TEXT SHORTHAND:

The first on my list is coincidentally in regards to those three letters above: WTF. Now, it is not the actual words that causes me to lose my mind because ask anyone who knows me I have the mouth like a truck driver, it is the whole internet and texting craze with using letters as shorthand for expressions etc. It is getting a little lot out of hand. Some examples that I have seen on the internet (ala Facebook, obviously) and via text:

WTF: What the F**K               SMH: Shake My Head          LML:Love My Life         FML: F**K my life              ATM: At the moment             IMU: I Miss You                    STFU: Shut the F up      LOL: Laughing out loud

Now, I could probably go on and on with this list and still not cover all of the annoying shorthand out there. And, don’t get me wrong, I am all for saving a bit of time or a few chracters in your text message but this is getting out of hand.

2) Recent Restaurant Trends:

I love food. I love going out to eat with my BF to a resturant and just get some “me and him time” over a drink and a good meal. Lately, our experiences going out to eat have been sub-par at best…

I am in no way a picky diner. I am pretty chill and usually do not have any crazy demands – the only exception is that I am a plain kind of person. Usually if I order something I do have make a change or two to it,by omitting something I don’t like (like tomatoes or onions – blech) One thing that I have noticed lately more and more is that servers aren’t writing orders down, and instead just thinking they can memorize it. Now, if the waitstaff could actually do this and get my order right, things would be fine and dandy…but they suck; so they can’t. Therefore, almost every single time I go out to eat something with our order isn’t correct. Then, when we have to send our item back, our super-waitress who was too cool to write down our correct order in the first place, gets snippy with me. Really?

                                              

Other trends that are just plain annoying in the restaurant business:                                                                                               *Having to play tag with my waiter just to get a glass of ice water  *Having to pay for a bread basket  = LAME.

3) REALITY TV

Yup. I am going to go there. Briefly, of course because I am just as big a fan of some reality shows as the next American however I feel like the content of some of these shows is really pushing the “someone actually gives a shit?” limit. I think it is bad enough that the Jersey Shore Cast makes more money for one season than most hardworking Americans yearly, but to each their own and clearly people are watching. But when I turn on the tv and see a reality show that follows some Rock/Flavor/Daisy/Real Chance of Love show (I mean, seriously, 4 different version of the same show?!?!) I can’t but help but roll my eyes. Of course, not all reality shows are created equally…

                                                                       

Some are just dumber than others.

———

Q. Anything leaving you saying WTF lately?

So, I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today but had the urge to write. Good thing I had to go food shopping and it sparked my post for today: shit that annoys me at the grocery store. I am sure some of you sympathize.

1) Aisle Blockers

We all have seen these gems at the grocery store: Talking on their cell phones, reading box labels, or looking for an item way down the aisle all while completely blocking aisle. These people drive me crazy, and I have resisted the urge many times to move them out of the way myself.

2) Terrifying Kids

Now, not being a “kid person” may influence my annoyance about this one but there is nothing worse than being near a kid in the grocery store who is having a complete meltdown. Of course, I get that being a parent is hard work but I guess feel that if you can hear a kid screaming because they can’t have chips throughout the whole store and the temper tantrum lasts more than like, 8 minutes, maybe a parent should take their child outside.

3) Express Lane Abusers

I will admit, that I have gone through the ’12 items or less’ lane with maybe 2 extra before. My number 3 is not those people. Number 3 is about the people that have a grocery cart overflowing with groceries. These people know they have a lot more than 12 items, but just do not care. This just means those of us with a gallon of milk to purchase are shit out of luck.

4) Oops, I forgot…

Have you ever been in the line at the grocery store, your items half on the conveyor belt when the person proclaims, “oh I just have to run and get ___ I’ll be right back!” Yea, this is asinine. If someone forgets something, they shouldn’t be able to hold up the line for 20 minutes for 20 minutes while they go and search for whatever they want.

5) Checking Out.

I feel like every time I go grocery shopping the store has like 1 cashier open. The rest of the ‘open’ lines are self-checkout. Now, in theory self-checkout lines would be a brilliant and time consuming part of shopping … if they actually worked! I am pretty sure 98% of the times I have used a self-checkout machine it has stopped working and turned into a huge fiasco.

I am sure myself and everyone else out there could come up with a few more to add to this list. This list is what I encountered just today while shopping! There is also the customer who holds the line up by sitting there and having a full blown conversation with the cashier. Or what about the coupon-crazy lady? I am all for the extreme-coupon craze and can appreciate a good savings – but if someone is going to spend 30 minutes organizing and using their coupons; then maybe they need to open a separate line. And of course, I forgot to mentions the gems that decide to wait until their entire order is bagged to deem it necessary to ‘put a couple things back’…

Am I forgetting anything? What annoys you most about food shopping?

-A

Why Facebook Sucks (sometimes)

About five years ago, when you mentioned the word Facebook to my Grandmother she probably would have asked me where the rash was and to put some hydro-cortisone cream on it. Now, good old Grandma is on Facebook. Yes, my grandmother, mother, aunt, and mailman  father. It seems that everyone and their mother has a Facebook. And here, people, is where my list starts with shit that annoys me about my Facebook…

Everybody Has One:

Like I mentioned above, everybody has a Facebook. My old teacher from high school ‘that kicked me out of his Geometry class because I told him Fuck Off’ has one, and what do you know we are friends. Suck. My aunt and grandmother are both friends of mine on Facebook so when I wake up from a night of drinking to see that I embarrassingly did the ultimate no-no and updated my status while tipsy, my whole family is there to see my shame. Awesome.

—–

Quizzes and Games:

The games on Facebook are definitely one of the most annoying aspects of Facebook. Farmville? Mafia Wars? Are you effing kidding me? Like I really have the time to sit there and play a computer game, let alone one on Facebook. Furthermore, do you really think I give a shit if you forgot to water your fake crops or that you just hypothetically blew some mafia guys head off via your dumb computer game? Nope I don’t. So stop telling me and please, please stop inviting me to play with you.

I can’t forgot to mention the annoying people that feel is necessary to crowd up my ‘recent updates’ walls with results from their “quiz” they just took. So let me guess this straight.. ‘you felt the need to know what “Mafia Wife” you most resembled before you went to bed? And then proceeded to take a quiz on what kind of handgun you are most like? Really? Here is some free advice for those people: get off your computer and go read a fucking book or something because obviously Facebook is killing your brain cells.’

—–

The Photo Tagger

I have a Facebook account and usually upload certain memories of our vacations, outings, memories, and such. I don’t tag other people in said photos unless they asked to be tagged. Why is this so hard for everyone else to understand. No, I don’t want you to tag me in a photo that I catches me in a bad position or makes me look like I just got run over by a bus. No, I don’t want you to keep tagging me, even after I untagged myself – twice. If I am out for a night on the town with my girlfriends, and I have a drink in my hand and I am dancing like the dancing queen I am on a chair please do not tag me. Thanks. Some photos are better left not seen by my grandmother.

—-

The Person who updates their facebook on EVERYTHING:

And by everything I mean evvvverrryyything. Like how many centimeters you are, while you are giving birth. Like how you caught a horrible stomach bug and you and have been shitting yourself to death for the last 24 hours. Seriosuly, do you really think anybody really wants to know any of your way-to-personal information.. no. Some things are way too TMI for Facebook (or just plain unnecessary). Other offenders of this are those who post their relationship break-up step by step via their updates and those that post the traffic (dude, I watch the news and I know the traffic thanks).

While I am on the subject of the asses who post way to much on their profile, I am going to go ahead and say it: posting ultrasound photos of your baby on your facebook is creepy. Please, stop.

The constant bitching and whining:

As I realize this list is getting a bit long and I have done nothing about bitch about Facebook; I am going to bitch about those bitch… on Facebook. Now, I am not talking about someone who randomly posts a complain, whine, or bitch.. I am talking about the Facebook friend (whom you don’t really want to be friends with anyways) who constantly bitches and complains about bad their life is. Every. Single. Status. is wah, wah, wah, my life sucks.. wah, wah, wah, I suck at life with FML thrown in there. I get that sometimes people have bad days but really… updating your status every 5 minutes bitching and complaining is just obnoxious.

and lastly,

The Creeper:

Everybody has one. You know, the person that seems to constantly be on Facebook, commenting and liking everybody’s status updates and wall posts quicker than you click on the home button. Or the creeper that leaves a comment on a photo that you uploaded like 2 years ago (wtf are you looking that far back into my photos for? Creep)

I get that some people have no life and spend way to much time on Facebook. And that is completely OK with me.. just don’t be a creepster about it.

edited to add:

The “People You May Know” feature or “Suggest Friends” feature

I can’t believe I almost forgot about this one. 99.9% percent of the time I have no freaking idea who Facebook tells me I “may know”. Am I the only one? Or when I do see someone I know on the right hand corner of my Facebook screen; chances are I do know them and I have either a) ignored their friend request or b) in no way want to be their friend and am praying that that they don’t request me.

The suggest friends feature is another annoyance of mine. Like I really want to spend an extra minute of my life suggesting friends for someone else. Half of the people on my Facebook I don’t even want to be friends with but also don’t want to seem like the as*hole on the block either.

—–

 

**EDITED TO ADD ON SEPTEMBER 23, 2011**

The “I bitch about every Facebook change”:

You know the ones… who every single time facebook changes something (regardless if it is a big or small change) they continuously serial post about the new changes “suck” and that they want “their old fb back”… um. See above photo please.